The Beginning of the beginning

So, it has been a while, little blog. Once again I am very sorry to neglect you for such a long time. I can assure you it is not your fault. You are a good little diary. One that tolerates my madness and strife and wishes nothing more than to make my life more organised and sensible.

On that topic then, I have some good news.

As part of my new life-change. I have committed myself to writing an entry into this diary every day.

This blog will become my proper journal, filled with my thoughts and feelings on the course of my life. I have always intended this to happen when I first created this blog but the slow decline in my writing and the lack of self-confidence to publish even the smallest of sentences meant that I had immediately push down on the brakes before even starting the engine.

So, let’s get the ball rolling.

Today is my second to last day off my current job. I have to work this evening till 11pm, head home, catch a few Z’s before returning promptly at 6:30 to start the early shift. To be honest, these kind of shifts are frustrating as hell, simply because the pressure you are under in order to get some rest so you can be fresh and ready for the next morning. This never works out for me, I am too much of a worrier. I worry whenever I step away from the job, knowing that the smallest thing can derail the entire thing for me the next morning. Thankfully, nine times out of ten, this is never the case. But it does happen.

Anyway.

I have been spoilt rotten by the chef here this evening. He’s such a sweet guy. I’m gonna miss him when I go, but I have to remind myself of a simple fact. It is not goodbye, it is simply ‘Catch ya laters.’

I hate goodbyes, the finality of it all. Sometimes whenever I see someone go, I know that somewhere down the path I work, I’ll see them again. And everything will be as it should be. But then, all I have to do in the mean time is think about all the fun and excitement I’ve had with them and that’s enough to make me realise that I was lucky to have met someone like them.

Funny how people react differently to that kind of behaviour.  

And just like that...

Seriously, I devote time and energy into a blog post that I want to share with people in the world. And then I go and forget all about it and come back a month later and think to myself, FFS why didn't I continue on with that?

Well. Fuck it. I am still being very healthy. I haven't been to the gym since yesterday mind you, and that was kind of intimidating. Isn't it strange for a gay man to be VERY intimidated when he goes to a place where strong, sweaty and handsome men work out and look amazing? Weird, right?


Then again. I have a problem with men in general.

Men are assholes realistically.

90% of all the men I know in my life are bastards. They either care nothing about me or use me to get everything that they want and then forget that I exist. It's no surprise that I get on a lot better with women.

I read in an article a while ago describing about the social standing and emotional outcome of a child who grows up with no strong father/male role-model. In the short answer to this statement, it's not very good. They either become very aggressive to compensate for the loss of authority or revert into a form of passive behavior.


Anyway, it doesn't matter. I'm just writing some bullshit here. Not like anyone will read it anyway.

So after a year, I went to the gym...

Boy, oh boy. Do my legs hurt.

I haven't been to the gym in a very, very long time. I guess I'd just been really lazy during the last year or work was always making it difficult to work around the right times but yeah.

Around three hours ago, I went to the gym.

I only went to do my running on the treadmill and I had a very specific goal. 5k run, basically 3.1 miles.

A long time ago, I used to be able to make this run in just around 25 minutes. So it's a target of mine to try and see if I can do it.

Anyway. I managed to complete my 5K run today with a time of 32 minutes. So not bad at all. I was going to take a photo of the treadmill screen but I left my phone in the locker.

So today I have managed to do my exercises as well, so in total I have achieved a 5k run. And the following exercises.

Photo taken on 2 February 2014

The original shots

OK. So I forgot to do this yesterday when I was making the original blog post but I decided to take some photos of myself to see if I can track my progress with my workouts and see in the end whether or not I can see the proper change.

Photo taken on 31 January 2014

I should be a little nervous about putting my shots up like this but FUCK IT. I mean, if I can see the difference as I go along then that would be great.

February: The Health Month

So I had looked at myself in the mirror the other day and thought to myself.
 ‘I really need to sort myself out. I've been meaning to for years but I just don’t know how.’

 Well now, I've come up with this plan. Let me get some details down first. I am a 25-year-old man, weigh roughly 140lbs and 5,8ft in height. When I was younger, I was a cross-country runner for both of my schools. I was the second faster student in my entire high school. I loved to run. For my final cross-country event at 16-years-old; which was near 10-12 miles long, I came 37th out of 1000 something. That was sadly 8 years ago now. And I've definitely let myself show it.

Not to say that I’m fat or anything, in fact I’m actually quite lucky. I've always had a very lean build. When I was younger I was nothing but skin and bone, but as the years have grown on me, I have actually managed to keep fat on and look healthier then I use too.

 Unfortunately, I now need to sort something out with this flabby belly. I have decided to use two very interesting apps on my iPhone to help me get the desired appearance that I want for my body, to be more specific, my upper body. I wish to get rid of my slightly hanging belly and also tone up my chest muscles so I don’t look like I have flat boobies. (tehehe…boobies) Most people would generally tell me to go to the gym and do some heavy lifting or weight training there.

Unfortunately, and this may be true with many people, I am very self-conscious about myself when I am at the gym. I remember once being on the press-bench with 10’s or 12’s dumbbells and finding myself surrounded by super ripped men who were crushing 30’s to 40’s in each arms. I felt so weak and awkward between them and it’s kind of been a sore topic for me ever since. Hence this different way of training. It’s always been a dream of mine to have the same kind of body that Tom Daley has. Then I can have my boyfriend drool over me instead of him. :P Just kidding of course.

The Apps I have decided to use are the Press-Ups and the Sit-Ups; two relatively cheap apps that monitor and guide you on a day-by-day schedule of exercise. I’m in the process of planning my way through a schedule which does include going to the local gym, but I will only be going there to do the majority of cardio work. I will be posting pictures on a 2-day delay whenever I do my exercises to see if I can visibly see the difference as I go on. Since this would, in theory, give me a clear line of change if I were to notice it. So then, let’s begin shall we.